New Season - New Training - 6 Weeks In

The more selfies I am subjected to, the less inclined I am to bombard you with yet another comparison pic, sneaky muscle pic, shaded 6-pack ab shot, pumped up back/bicep/quad pose and any other general photo I might take when I'm feeling super dooper amazing either first thing in the morning or mid-workout. So you have to do without pics for my blurbs. You'll just have to trust me that I'm still recognisable - not much has changed other than a great haircut and some low-light colours. I realise I'll miss out on fifty "You look FABULOUS" comments without a photo ... but I"ll cope. So on to the important stuff!

I decided to do something different. Something really different. But here's the thing - I'm not actually sure I can fail. I'm not sure anyone can fail. If they do what they do to their best ability.

You see, I've researched and read and listened and watched for months and months and months. I don't listen to music while I'm training anymore - I listen to podcasts. Old school training podcasts that are highly entertaining and tackle any and every subject that is pertinent to bodybuilders, powerlifters and fitness enthusiasts. I love listening to these guys chat about what has worked well and what hasn't. But I came to this conclusion (with their immense help) - there are no new methods of training. Whatever you can think of, it's already been done before. Whatever combination you put together, it's been put together before. Whatever fancy name you give to your training system, it's just a rehash of one that's been designed in a previous life. We are just finding subtle ways to build enthusiasm and brilliant marketing methods to generate money.

And that leads me to believe that they all work. They all work in their own little way. Every method has reported pros and reported cons. Every single training method has a celebrity name that will endorse it, and a celebrity who will diss it. In my humble opinion, not one method corners the market on being the sole or 'best' way of achieving results. Because different techniques work for different people at different times.

So this was my time to try something very new for me. My time to give a go at developing, implementing and comitting myself to a program specifically designed by me, for me. I was so excited while writing it and would scribble over my whiteboard and bore Rob for hours on end as I made my plans. It changed as I learnt more, and the tweaks have happened as some parts immediately worked and others did not. In essence, here is what I came up with;

* I picked four body parts that I thought were constantly lagging behind the others. Not to say the other muscle groups were anywhere near perfect, but I have glutes, quads, lats and shoulders that need a definite boost.

* I decided to hit them twice a week. One volume set and one heavy set.

* I grouped them specifically and, on heavy day, round it off with a metabollic finisher - just for shits and giggles. Actually - I retract. It's not for shits & giggles - it's a method that is used widely and there is a touted rhyme and reason for it. Otherwise I wouldn't do it.

* I only train four times a week with weights - 45m-60m. On the fifth day, if I so feel like it, I complete a heavy session with chest, bi's and tri's. Two exercises for each and to the heaviest I can possibly manage.

* I do 2 x 25m HIITS per week. One is running based, one is weights based.

* For nutrition I was adamant that comp prep was well and truly over. I eat carbs with just about every meal and most days that includes; oats, yoghurt, wraps, rice or bread along with any and every meat. I have bigger meals and only 4 a day.

It's been 6 weeks now and the results so far are;

* Really noticeable changes in the glutes. No mistaking that. I can see it, I can feel it, and my husband is graciously keeping tabs on it.

* I think the other muscle groups are coming along nicely. Rob and I reckon there are some visible lat changes. But it's a little too early to make too much of a call.

* I feel really happy with my program. I feel a freedom to modify as I need to on the day. I haven't ever strayed from the program before and I can definintely see how my stubborness to a program can be to my own detriment because I"ll doggedly carry on even when my gut instinct tells me that a particular method/exercise/system isn't working for me. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm changing what clearly doesn't work for me (let's face it - we all have exercises that we try to master and, for the love of god, we cannot 'get' it! I give it my all and research as much as I can - and then if I don't 'get' it, I change it).

* Food wise, I simply have not felt so free for years. I could rave on but I won't. I love having a full tummy. I haven't 'blown out'. And I think I'm still fairly lean so can continue to up my cals, which is always great news for a 'foodie'. I eat less vegies and salad, more everyday food meals, and my family are more than happy that I'm back at the table with them. And I've renewed my love for the odd Sav Blanc!

I have 3 more weeks left on this program and I'm already formulating my next move. Out comes the whiteboard... the scribbles are starting ... and the game of chess continues!

It's 5 weeks tomorrow since the World Champs. So much has happened since that wonderful week away in Coolangatta.

I got my new job in Darwin. I say "my" new job because it was my firm focus to secure that job. I could not visualise spending another 6 months away from my babies. God knows we could manage - we always do. But it wasn't part of the Master Plan and that is evident by the fact that I'm moving on New Years Day. Fresh year, fresh job, fresh focus. I'm so excited.

 

With the new job came a new house. We bought a very cute little house in Darwin and last night was my first night here while up for the weekend. To say I love it is an understatement. It just feels like home - even though we are so squished that the bedside tables are in the lounge and half of the furniture will remain outside until we find the means to renovate and expand. For now, it is what it is and we all love it. Especially the pool!

 

So the big question is - how is life Post Comp? By now everyone that has any interest in competitions whatsoever should know something about life after a comp. It can be hard. Actually, it can be more than hard. It can be crippling and I"ve seen some pretty devastated girls, along with experiencing some nasty little surprises for myself. I'll sum up my experiences in the most honest way I can;

 

Season 1, 2012.

Training: I prepped like a mad woman. I trained like a demon, ate like a bird and cardioed like the devil was after my arse!! I weighed a scary 52kg on comp day and, while I had a bit of muscle, probably the most impressive sight of all was that every muscle, tendon and bone was on show! I could have taken a second job as a human skeleton.

 

Post Comp: I ate and ate and ate and ate. And then I ate a little more. I ate like that for two solid days and then I stopped. And then I started again. It was uncontrollable. At times I felt actual fear that I wouldn't ever be able to feel normal about food again. It was a real fear triggered by the binging/starving cycle that I had started. The massive carb overloads that occurred when binging caused me to bloat. I had feet that looked like I suffered from gout, and a gut that put up with some terrible abuse.

 

This went on for a few weeks until I managed to pull myself into a new regime that consisted of ... you guessed it ... semi-starvation and lots of cardio. It was all I knew and it worked at keeping my weight low. It was a fairly sad way to live considering family occasions saw me eating from my own little food stash. Not only did I not allow myself treats, but I also wanted to be seen as someone who did not indulge in treats. I was definitely a slave to my own beliefs of how I should be portraying myself.

My intentions were pure. My relationship with my body was a mess.

Season 2, 2013

Training: I found Ingrid and life changed!! She taught me about health while prepping. She introduced me to ways of incorporating beautiful tastes and textures into my everyday food while training in a balanced and focused way. She was a godsend for me and I am so grateful that she allowed me to keep my love for training and gain back my self-confidence in my body.

Post Comp: I had a couple of days of indulgence, but nothing like I had the season before. I then went straight onto the same food that I prepped on and cycled myself out quite nicely. My weight went up slowly at first. But then I hit a sticking point - and it might shock you a bit. In retrospect, it shocks me a little too. I can identify two main factors as follows;

1. I believe I ate too clean. That's right. Too clean. I was dogged in my approach to clean foods. I spent weeks and weeks and weeks eating the same thing day in and day out - my work colleagues will testify to this because I lived with them 'out bush' for 6 months;

Breakfast - Protein, LSA, Orange, Psyllium Husk

M/Tea - Tuna & Salad

Lunch - Chicken & Vegetables

A/Tea - Protein Shake

Dinner - Chicken & Vegetables

Supper - Casein

Those that know me will agree that I can be focused to the point of stupidity. I felt an overwhelming need to 'stick to the program' at all times and I don't believe it did me any favours being so bloody strict. It led to an unease with social occasions, an inability to accept easily any change in routine, and an unhealthy tendency to over-indulge when I did stray from the program.

2. I did not track, weigh or even care how much of the 'good foods' I was eating. I ate as much carrot, cabbage, broccoli, beans, peas, salad etc etc as I wanted. I was so certain that none of these could make me put on weight. How dumb is that? Well I think it's pretty dumb for a smart woman in retrospect.

I also did not really take into account my protein (WPI) powder intake. It got bigger and bigger and it became my sweet 'crutch'. The only thing I ate that felt even remotely naughty. Protein might be lean, but it still contains energy (the nice word for calories). And I over-dosed on it at times.

Some 12 months later, I had successfully gained close to 20kg by eating mainly 'clean' and 'good' foods with the odd over-dose on carbs and sweets.

Oh yeah - my third mistake of the season was to refrain from any sort of tracking. Misleading myself into thinking that any weight is good weight when it comes to putting on muscle. I do not believe one word of that as I sit right now. I do not believe that walking around in a body that feels overweight, pudgy and uncomfortable is beneficial to me at all. Not fitting my 'normal size' clothes was a little bit devastating and not something I wish to revisit anytime soon.

Season 3:

Training: The same as Season 2. Training was hard, heavy and focused.

Post Comp: I spent the last 6 months researching nutrition and deciding on how I was going to tackle the end of this competition. I was determined not to make the same mistakes yet again ... because that would must be mental. I also felt that I needed to finally man-up and learn how to read my own body's messages and not rely on someone else to tell me what to eat and when - which I find much easier than trusting myself.

 

I settled on a mixture of implementing a program while keeping tabs on my progress. Sounds strikingly sensible really doesn't it? But for an over-analyser, the simplest things generally get put through the complicator and come out so laborious.

I decided on a method that gave me freedom to eat whatever I wanted, with guidelines on the amounts of carbs, proteins and fats. From comp day to the next, I immediately doubled my intake and added my favourite daily foods on that second day too - oats, yoghurt, blueberries, casein, wraps. It's not in me to neglect my vegies and salad foods so they figure in as normal, but I also include treat foods in moderation and very regularly.

I refuse to list and name those treats. I am personally sick to death of reading fitness 'gurus' harp on about what they do and don't eat. Who does that? And I'm not talking about the genuine nutrition based gurus that actually have some sort of teaching that goes with their food selfies. I'm talking about those that are having a great day and enjoying a cupcake so feel the need to plaster it all over social media in an effort to either; show that they are eating 'normally' and should be applauded for such (whatever), or feeling guilty and need the approval of a bunch of strangers that hit that 'like' button (whatever x 2). Just a little over it.

So food is great. I don't want to harp on about it. But I'm happy. My weight gain has been extremely slow, which I find quite amazing considering the variety of food and the huge increase in carbs. Means I can keep 'upping' my calories in order to eat as much a I can while maintaining a pleasing weight that suits my lifestyle, personal preference and, of course, my wardrobe!!

Training is something I've fallen in love with all over again. I've implemented a program I spent a few months writing and I love just about every minute of it in a sadistic sort of way. I am trialling heavy & volume days with specific body parts. Some sessions have only 4-6 reps, others have 4 sets of 15 reps. I'm seeing changes and I'm thriving on it. I have also cut back to 4 weights sessions and 2 x 25m cardio sessions per week. The cardio keeps me feeling healthy and, believe it or not, I just love it! I plan my little hiits and either do them on a few metres of tiles in my unit, or at the gym with the equipment. I even went to my first group fitness session in years - and got scared away by the shear number of dreaded burpees!! Haha. All in all, I'm in training heaven right now.

And of course I have new goals. I'm not sure how well I'd function without goals. I have goals in my work, travel goals, financial goals, children goals and training goals. Little things to aim for in all areas so I can measure how I'm going to get there and how well I'm doing along the way.

I'll save my goals for next time in case you're already asleep reading this.

Talking of sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Competition Day Rundown

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 2^ND – WFF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BODYBUILDING COMPETITION

Twin Towns Resort – Coolangatta, Gold Coast

After 26 weeks of focused preparation and 18 months of focused training….the day begins..

1am:        Eyes open. I’m hot because I’m wearing a onesie. I’m wearing a onesie because I’m covered with fake tan and I don’t want to stain the lovely white sheets at our apartment. I also have socks on to stop foot-tan-transfer. Dammit – now that I’m awake I can’t stop thinking about toast, eggs and peanut butter that I’m going to devour in about…. 5 hours!! Quick comfort stop and back to bed.

                 Na – not going to happen. Need to cool down. Onesie off, towel laid out, bugger the tan transfer! I’ll go through Catch of the Day and buy some more sheets if need be! Much better and I eventually fall asleep thinking about the yellow runny yolks and crispy toast, smothered in nutty butter.

3am:        Eyes open. Peeking at the clock. 3 hours to go. Dammit again!!

4am:        2hrs.

5am:        1hr. Good grief. This is the longest night of my life.

5.45am:   Bloody alarm woke me up!! Only just got to sleep!!

                 Bound out of bed and run to the kitchen. Pan on, toaster out, nutty butter opened. Never has the rich, stickiness of this combination been so appreciated. Never. No need to wash the knife and fork – it’s spotlessly licked clean. Straight back in the drawer for the next schmuck to use.

6.05am:   Back to bed to read for a while. Rob is awake and we’re both pretty excited about the day. I’m not really nervous – it’s been a long time coming and I’m ready to tackle whatever comes my way.

7.15am:   Layer of sticky Dream Tan. Rob the tan-man is on the job and he really is good at this. I simply stand there and he covers me from head to toe (and all spots in between) with this stuff. Constantly people ask why there is so much tan. It’s the lighting, it’s the muscle detail and it’s the expectation. Not going to repeat it again so hopefully no one ever asks me this question again.

7.30am:   Michelle B arrives from Darwin!! Woot woot!!

7.35am:   Candice knocks on the door and also joins the party – double woot!!

8am:        I’m finally dry enough to put clothes on and the hairdresser & make-up artist arrive. They set up a mini studio in the apartment and I’m suddenly being primped and primed for action. I absolutely LOVE the makeup. She has done a superb job of adding deep purples to my eye-shadow and it looks like a velvety, smoky mix. Not one of the photos gives it justice and I’m aware that normal photography just makes me look like an over-tanned strange woman. I can’t help this and am glad that most people are polite enough not to say so. In actual fact, the makeup, hair and tan blended together beautifully and I’m seriously impressed with their work.

8.30am:   Somewhere during the beauty session, Racheal arrives so the girls are all together. Muscle Chicks (minus George) united! I guess this is a bit ‘in-house’. I’m so overwhelmed that these girls have made their way to me from all over Australia. I feel very, very special and I can’t really articulate how grateful I am to have them with me. They are very, very special people in my life on a daily basis. I draw support, strength and loyalty from them and we are a pretty tight bunch.

10.30am  Time to get to the venue. The show started at 10am but who the hell knows when that really is at Coolangatta. A few steps in certain directions and your phone changes by an hour!! It’s quite amusing and a little frustrating. Must be hell living there and trying to organise a meeting or appointment of any sort. Anyhow, we get to the Twin Towns Resort and it hasn’t kicked off yet. I sit in the audience with Michelle, Racheal, Candice, Kieran, Rob and the kids. I can’t concentrate on anything because the nerves have started to kick. I absolutely know the best course of action would be to rest up and put my feet up – but that aint gonna happen!! I’m too highly strung for that.

11.30am  Somewhere around here, Rob and I decide to go backstage and set up my gear. We get out there and have to laugh at the typical bodybuilding setup: everything is covered in plastic – every inch of the floor and right up the walls. It’s a sight I’m quite used to yet I agree that it would like pretty stupid to anyone viewing it for the first time.

                 We find a little spot in the hallway because the actual dressing rooms are both too small and way too cold for me.

                 We check the program and see that my division is no. 12 out of 24 divisions. The show is only up to division no. 2. I’m not thinking straight and can’t work out how long I think it’ll take to get to mine. I’m picking another 2-3 hours so we head out front again and watch the men do their thing. I’m in awe of their condition. I love this sport – I really do. Ordinary people who change their bodies in quite an extreme way. I care little for the judgement of others – I’m too busy being impressed by those that do rather than don’t.

12.30pm: We head backstage again and I again try to decipher what time I’ll be on. Never have I miscalculated the time like I did this day. To cut a long story short, I was on stage at around 4.30pm so the afternoon passed in a blur of eating peanut butter and rice cakes and jelly beans, with many slow and monotonous warm up routines in order to be ready in the event that my division would get called. It was not an optimal move as I felt terribly fatigued at times and got that “I just want it to be all over” feeling, which is not real cool when you’ve been working 18 months towards this day.

                 Just as I thought we were ready to pump up for the final time, the organisers announced a break in the proceedings for another half hour. I wanted to cry. Instead I put my headphones back in and had a good old listen to my favourite songs.

4.30pm:   Finally, finally, finally. Time to line up side-stage and start focusing fiercely on the next step – routine time! 1min of posing to my choice of music. I chose INXS’ Never Tear Us Apart. In May 2014 I loved this song, really loved it. It triggered emotion, excitement and strength in me. By November 2014, I could do with not hearing this song again for the next 10 years. So, for the final time, I completed my routine and still felt that I loved the simple yet strong moves put together for me with the beautiful Karen Jeffreys. For a girl with not much rhythm, I did ok I reckon.

                 So anyway – I jumped forward a bit. I made my way side-stage and I’m standing amongst some of the muscliest, strongest, striated women I have ever seen! Their bikinis are sparkling with jewels and their faces are showing the intensity of the situation. At that particular point, I felt quite beat. They all just looked so good. Rob sensed that defeat was creeping in so he gently started reassuring me that I was in the right place, that I deserved my spot and that I needed to focus on getting out there and giving it all I had. Only someone who knows me as well as he does would understand the keys to motivating me. I love my husband more than life itself and competition day is one of those times where 17 years of companionship pays off. God I love him.

                 Stage time. Routine goes well and I’m happy with my performance. I could always improve for sure, but in comparison with my routine of 18 months prior, I feel the progress has been dramatic. Lesson reinforced to learn early and practise until you can’t practise anymore.

                 Back off stage. Time to pump up a little more using the stretchy bands. I’m so dry mouthed I can hardly swallow my own spit. Rob provides a water bottle and I have a sip. My water method is not to drink on comp day other than a sip here and there. It works for me and I don’t do any dramatic dehydration rubbish beforehand so it’s just a day’s worth of dryness. (For the record – don’t touch sodium in anyway pre-comp)

                 Now it’s time to get out there in a line-up with the other ladies for the main event – comparisons between us for symmetry, condition and muscle. This is where the marking starts!

                 I’m second out. There’s no time to look left or right which is quite funny after the comp when everyone talks about “yellow bikini” or “long brown hair”. I can’t see any of them and only realise who I was surrounded by when the photos pop up later on Facebook.

                 I digress – we start off with quarter turns for symmetry. My feet are just slightly unsteady. I think it’s due to two things: 1. We are moving from pose to pose so quickly that I hardly have time to set my position. I wish we could slow down a fraction but my wishes are ignored. 2. The stage is a bit slippery. I’m thinking the fellas have dripped their oil onto the stage due to the fact that they don’t wear footwear. I later see many people slip on various patches so I guess the oil is a little hard to mop up.

                 Compulsory turns are not my favourite part however I give it all I’ve got and I’m “thinking wide” the whole way through.

                 Next we go into the muscularity poses – these are my absolute favourite. I feel strong and confident. Side stage I clearly saw that there were women there with better lats, boulder shoulders, striated butts and sweeping quads. I’m not silly, I know a great physique when I see one – but the time has come to show myself off and simply do the best I can.

                 I can honestly say that I gave everything I had in me to those poses. I set my feet, steadied those legs and pumped out the best version of each pose that I could deliver. I smiled until my lips hurt, I twisted my obliques until my kidneys threatened to poke through the skin, I clenched my butt until it threatened to cramp in place for good!

                 There were 11 of us in the line-up. We were all told to step to the back of the stage. This is when they call certain numbers forward to compare against each other. My number was 123. They called out number after number – about 6 in total. I prayed to hear 123. I heard “123” and almost danced to the front of the stage. We went through all muscularity poses again and yet again I posed until my muscles shook with fatigue. We were directed to the rear of the stage again.

                 Next move was the ‘pose down’. 30seconds of posing all together to music while the judges deliberate. It’s more fun than it sounds.

                 Following that, we all stand mid-stage and each of us is presented with a medal to mark our participation in the World Championships. It’s a pretty special achievement to just be there really.

                 Next they say they will present trophies to the top 6 only. I’m scared. I want this badly. I know I won’t win, I can see the winner clearly. I know I won’t come in the top few – they are stand-outs and have given me much inspiration. But I want top 6. Badly.

                 They call the sixth place and I’m standing at the back trying to keep forcing out a smile while my tummy is leaping with the many twists and turns that could happen from here. Worst case scenario, I’m left at the back trying to genuinely smile while feeling a little gutted. I can’t lie about that.

                 The next number comes out – it’s “123” – THAT’S ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’VE GOT A PLACING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                 I nearly stumble backwards with the realisation that they are actually calling my number. I’m smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. I stare into the intense stage lights, trying to clap eyes on my family but it’s hopeless, the bulbs are just too bright and I can only stupidly grin in their general direction.

                 The top 6 stand together and we have some photos before it’s time to head off-stage. The minute I see Rob the tears come. I’m so happy for so many reasons. Let’s be brutally honest – I’m extremely happy that I placed. I’m also extremely happy that it’s over. I’m searingly tired and intensely hungry. I’m ready for a huge refeed and to hug my kids. I pretty much fall into Rob’s arms and we wander back to my little dressing room spot in the hallway.

                 Once there we use baby oil and a towel to strip most of the top layer of tan off. From there I start munching on the most beautiful piece of food I have ever eaten (well that’s how it feels after 26 weeks of comp dieting!!) – a vanilla almond Quest bar. Every chewy mouthful is like eating gold! I also down a Gatorade in about 5 seconds flat – which is interesting as I generally hate all flavoured drinks – especially anything like cordial! But I’m so dry and so fatigued that the Gatorade goes down a treat.

                 Shorts and a t-shirt on before heading back out front to be with my children. I have missed them terribly over the last few months. To explain, I have been with them physically but training and work have definitely taken the lion’s share of my strength and they have had to put up with some fairly ordinary energy levels from me for a long time now. I hug them like I haven’t seen them for years and promise them that their mum will be a little different from here on in. They are amazingly resilient and reassure me that they love me just like I am.

                 I scoff down a pretty good sized feed of white rice, steak and asparagus. I add a dollop of peanut butter for good measure and enjoy every satay-filled mouthful. Then it’s back to the apartment to scrub down and get rid of some of that base tan. I glug back about 2 litres of water and then have a nice dry white wine as a celebration drink.

                 Then it’s time to meet up with my pit-crew and we head to the Hogs Breath for dinner. I ordered exactly what I felt like – a barra burger with extra avocado. I shamelessly ate every morsel along with the curly fries on the side. Following that I again shamelessly ordered a sticky date pudding that I inhaled beautifully. I don’t regret a single crumb, even though my tummy did feel a little bit pressured to keep up with my eyes!

                 We headed to the apartment after that and I thankfully sank into bed and hugged my full stomach all night. Yes it ached a little but yes it was very worth it.

                 Enough for now. I have lots more to tell about the next few days and how I have/am handling food and exercise, but that’s to come next blog.

 

                 Finally this;

Post Competition - I find it really strange that so many people make comments like this; “you must be so glad it’s all over”, “bet you can’t wait for it to be all over”, “I’m sure you can’t wait for life to go back to normal”, “it’s family time now”, …. And so many more. It’s not that I can’t see where they are coming from, it’s just that I can’t help but feel a teensy sense of frustration at the insinuation that what I do is so far out of the realms of normality. Yes, I’ll admit it gets extreme towards the end but so does anything that gets to a state or world level. I think it’s more about the food thing than anything else. The adherence and strictness of the nutrition certainly makes plenty feel decidedly uncomfortable, that is blatantly obvious.

                  

                     I guess I can honestly say that my training isn’t going anywhere, and I’m happy to make the sacrifices necessary when it comes to food. I don’t love being hungry at all. I hate feeling fatigued too. But it’s short and it’s sharp and it serves a purpose without being life-threatening. I love this sport. It gives me drive, determination, self-achievement, motivation, a chance to see and feel my own potential (something I swear everyone needs to experience in some field or another) and a chance to show our children that they can do anything they want to if they put their mind and body to it. And if I feel like doing it all again straight away, I will. Happily.

 

 

 

 

A Perfect Example of How Too LIttle Food Makes You Way Too Lippy

Disclaimer: This blog is all about competition prep. If you aren’t interested in this topic, for the love of Pete close it down and get on with your life.

Holy hell – 5 sleeps and it’s here!! Finally here!! Can hardly believe that it’s arrived and I’m so incredibly excited. Bullet point time!! Here’s what I am most excited about;

• Embarking on a holiday with my beautiful little family – we are staying on for a week in a unit on the beach at Coolangatta – enough said!! Woohoo!!
• Having my most favourite friends in the world (excluding one that can’t make it ..sob sob) there with me during the comp; Michelle, Candice, Racheal, Kieran…Ingrid, Renata, Ji and Stoj – couldn’t ask for a better support crew – I know I’m incredibly lucky, and I try never to forget it.
• Competing is pretty darn good fun. Especially at this point because I have absolutely nothing in the world to lose and anything to gain. I have never competed in anything international and never really thought I would so that’s exciting in itself.
• I would be lying through my hungry teeth if I didn’t say that the post-comp dinner is something to be well and truly excited about. I have studied restaurants, menus and distances for me to waddle back to our unit. It’s all under control and I have great expectations that it will taste excellent. When people say comments like, “Oh but your poor little tummy will be so sore after so long of being on a diet”, it reinforces to me that this person knows me not at all. I have a guts of caste iron. I can cope with pretty much anything. Once, on the way back from Brisbane, I thought it a good idea to cook one of the sachet rice things and eat half the rice on the way to the airport then tuck the rest into my hot little handbag. I ate the other half during the flight home and by the time we landed in Darwin, I had clearly given myself a touch of food-poisoning (very easy to do with cold rice I found out later). I was literally writhing in pain in the car and felt queasier than I had ever felt before (excluding early years alcohol indulgence episodes). It took the whole 3 hour car trip home to come right and, by the time we pulled into the driveway I was all ready to eat again. And eat I did! Rob was impressed. Being the opposite it would have put him off food for at least the rest of the day.

So that’s the nutshell of excitement I have going on. It actually keeps me awake at night and I got up at 5.30am the other morning and had a swim to calm myself down.

The other big thing I am seriously looking forward to is being off competition prep. As previously harped on about, I have been on this train since April. I am over it. Seriously over it. I want to eat with my family and indulge in scrumptious foods and forget about the content. I want to plan my training and smack out some new goals without any pressure at all to perform. I have written and scribbled and planned and strategized all of the things I want to achieve next and I’m rip snortin ready to get cracking!!

So let’s talk the last couple of weeks. As I said to a friend of mine the other day – hunger and fatigue have led me to the truth-tree and I must speak what hangs on my mind. But first off, a reflection of what’s happened to my body.

• I arrived home from Hobart quite happy with my condition but very perturbed about my inability to drop that last 1.2kg. I sat on 58.2 for so long that I even went and got a new scale battery in case the damn thing was playing up. It wasn’t.
   
  I felt that my food was lower that I wanted it, my training was high but very half-arsed due to lack of food. I was not a happy camper and did not think I could make another 3 weeks in that condition. I told Ingrid and we put our heads together and she came up with a plan that I had freedom to tweak.
   
  We added carbs. We changed training splits to something truly radical. I decided on HIITS every 2^nd day and not a minute more than 25m. No steady state. No cardio sneaking into other training. Nothing fasted. Just honest sessions fuelled by more food. Prior to leaving Hobart I had a disproportionately large dinner after the comp – plenty of cheese and some bread to boot! Heaven. We also added in another day of food-relaxation and some red meat and fruit along with rest time.
   
  I came home and upped those carbs. Relished in the new tastes and thrived on having something sweet. I worked really hard in my training with the extra food – it was infinitely easier than the laborious sessions I had been doing. On a specific night I had a generous re-feed. Very generous. No penance cardio!!! Just the scheduled sessions of 25m every second day.
   
  Wait for this. Wait for it. This morning I weighed in at 54.5kg. Only 3.7kg down in 2 weeks. Who does that? How does that happen? How do you increase food, decrease training and drop fat like a mad-woman!! I am simply amazed at myself. Amazed at the changes. Amazed at how shredded I feel. And my mirror and training sessions would indicate I haven’t dropped muscle size to any great degree. I am lifting weights that I lifted prior to the final 12 weeks.
   
  Massive, massive learning curve.
   
  Ok – so here’s the last thing. While on comp prep I have become quite sensitive to the various strategies and positions on the crux of female prep – dropping weight while maintaining health and muscle. I have just given you my very honest experience. I can say that I experienced the gut-wrenching pressure of the scale weight looming at me every week. The feeling of not achieving what I set out to and paying the consequences by competing in a category that I did not want to compete in. Twice. Sure it all worked out in the end, but my mind didn’t register the bigger picture, just the weight snapshot and it sucked. Truly sucked.
   
  Now I can say that fat-loss is almost too easy this week and I’m adding more grams of carbs in an effort to keep it on. It’s so much more fun on this end of the stick!!
   
  But while riding this wave, I have come to detest the self-righteousness of some opinions. I believe the condition of my body means my sensitiveness to certain things is heightened. I admit this is one of them, but it has played on my mind so much that I am going to blurt it out.. in my way… bullet points; 

• The way you start out thinking you’ll prep may not be the way you end up actually prepping. Grand ideas of eating text-book foods and never over-doing the exercise, not even considering a fasted-cardio session or multiple gym visits in a day – whatever!!! When you are committed to a goal and you’ve been single-focused for around 4.5 months, you’ll find yourself open to ideas that once you would have balked at. Get over yourself, do some research and decide whether it’s worthy of a try or not – but don’t reject it purely based on stubborn self-righteousness. And there’s only one thing worse than a prepper with that attitude and that’s a non-prepper who chimes in with their own self-righteous angle on what another is doing in a terribly judgemental way. Rack off.
• The list of ‘naughty foods’ just grows doesn’t it! Clean and dirty. Good and bad. Ok and naughty. For fucks sake people, if a bit of chewy and a fake sugar or 6 gets people through a lean day, button up and let them have it. If an opinion is wanted it will surely be asked for. But seriously…. Those of us who wouldn’t give up our Extra without a fight to the death, we don’t give a flying rats crap whether you think it’s going to undo the last 18 months of hard work (as if?!!!! Simply ridiculous!!) or not. We can research for ourselves and that looming stick of judgement just spurs me to chew louder. Or I might ask you just how clean your protein powder is. Or remark on your many pictures of supposedly “naughty” foods and how you constantly justify your choices.
• I never once pretended to be a poster-child for health and fitness. And I'm certainly glad I haven't plastered Facebook with my one-eyed views on food because I can tell you that I've changed. My view and opinions are based on my experiences and those of my trusted friends. I won't bore you with the details because I might change again in the future. That's what I call being human.
• Again – in my humble opinion, the judgement of food has gotten way, way out of control.

 I am lucky to have a coach who listens to me. We don’t always agree. But she listens and she cares and she is very willing to make changes based on my responses. I love that about her. She doesn’t judge me. She saw me chewing my Extra like a heifer in Hobart and not once did she call me up on it. Not once. Why? Because I’m me. I’m Kirsten. I don’t comp prep like you. I don’t want to. I have different thresholds and my body reacts differently to yours. I don’t care for your opinions at this stage because I’ve already invested 18 months with someone who knows their shizzle. I am also intelligent and can research my own facts and, based on what I find, I either make change or I don’t. And that’s just how I like it.

 Wow. I think I need a regular input of “naughty" food to help me calm the heck down!”

Less Than 2 Weeks To Go!!

We have exactly 13 days to go after tonight. 13 sleeps and it will be World Championship day. I feel strangely calm and feel like I have nothing to lose, all to gain. That’s exactly the way I like feeling. I am the first to admit that I do not handle pressure to succeed very well. I much rather like to turn up as an unknown quantity and either do well or not .. and leave in the silent way I arrive. I am not one of those that hungers for attention, strives for good selfies, or seeks out sponsorship. I’m not opposed to any of those things but my reasons for competing are not directly related to any of them.

But that’s where the self-righteousness ends. Right there. Because pretty much everything about competition prep is selfish, self-absorbed and all-consuming. Time to spill the beans on pre-comp between Darwin and Hobart. As per usual – I think in bullet-points so I’ll write in bullet-points – for some reason it centres me (yep – even I think that’s freakin weird!!).

• I finished the Darwin competition knowing I had another 5 weeks’ worth of dieting. That truly and honestly wreaked absolute havoc with my mind. I have been dieting for 20 weeks and another 5 seemed like a mountain almost too high to manage. The night of the comp I had a nice piece of fudge cake followed by a lovely dinner and then straight back into my meagre rations. I also jumped straight back into a HIIT on the Monday morning and the meal the night before fuelled me all the way.
• Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday post-Darwin worked out just tickety-boo.
• Friday did not. Friday my mind and body went down the gurgler. The feeling of immense and utter tiredness came over me and drenched every fibre of my body. I felt like I couldn’t move a finger without it being a total body-drag – like I was trawling through sand with every move. On top of that I was trying to do intense HIITS, heavy training sessions and continuing to work shift work with nightshifts and all. Especially exciting about the nightshifts was that, on the first day, I had to make my rations last me through the day and night without succumbing to more food. This is just not the time to add food!!
   
  By the middle of the next week I was feeling immensely sorry for myself, not the least excited about the Hobart competition and ready to quit. Yep. To quit. Get that. 20 weeks of dieting, 18 months of solidly consistent training and I was ready to quit just 4 days out. How does that happen? Still wondering myself. But I did want to. But I didn’t. I’ll give myself credit that, when the going gets tough, I put my head down and do what needs to be done. I might entertain the quitting thought – but physically I just carry on carrying on and I do what’s next on the list. And that’s how last week played out.
• Unfortunately the stress clearly had a major impact on my poor hormones that all went into a buzz and I believe my cortisol was raised majorly. Cortisol inhibits fat loss. I wasn’t losing fat. I was holding onto it for dear life. Minimal food, maximum exercise and not a gram was budging. I knew it too – I could see in the mirror and feel in my bones. The result – I wasn’t going to make weight for my chosen division. Bum and shit!!!! The harder I pushed, the worse it got. I knew deep in my heart that I wasn’t going to make weight so Plan B was put into place – entering a division with the big girls in the NABBA federation. And it was so.
• I made my way to Melbourne without incident.  Well…maybe one minor one that I should definitely expand on;
   
  I booked a cabin in a tourist park close to the Melb airport. It had a full kitchen and I had decided to do a little prep while there. Before cooking my delicious post-comp steak, I decided to slap on another coat of tan. For the uninitiated this entails nuding up and literally  painting on a brown liquid that serves as an undercoat for the heavy comp day tan.
   
  So I did that. You know.. nuded up … and covered myself in the brown gunk. It takes a good  5 mins to dry before you can safely cover up so I paraded around in my little cabin, free as a bird!! While in my moments of ‘freedom’ – I decided to cook my eye fillet. Element on, heated up nicely, steak added – and then we got a little bit of smoke. Just a bit. But a bit was all it took to set off the rotten fire alarm!! Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I grabbed a tea-towel and waved it furiously in the direction of the roof-mounted alarm. It stopped..thank god.
   
  But then it started again!!! Damn!!! I was stuck between the need to wave the stupid tea-towel and the self-preservation instinct to put some clothes on!!!! I knew the minute I dropped the towel, the alarm would go off – but then what if they heard it already and someone knocked on the door??!!! I couldn’t answer it in the buff!!! I reached out and grabbed my purple onesie, all the while waving the tea-towel at the roof. And then I heard the sirens!!! LOUD AND WAILING!! OMFG!!! I was so incredibly certain they were coming for me!! I waved the tea-towel at about 217km/h and prayed that the knock wouldn’t come. It didn’t. They went past. Reprieve.
   
  Moral: never cook steaks nude. Just don’t. 

• Ok – so fast forward to Hobart. I loved Hobart. I loved the competition even though I knew I was up against ladies much bigger than me. I stepped onto that stage and I really did give it all I had. I came away with a third placing and that made me extremely happy.

So where am I now?

• Right here, right now I’m in a very happy place. I’m heading to the Gold Coast and I have a lot of work to do between now and then. My goal is to shred. S.H.R.E.D.!!! Ingrid and I have come up with a plan that I’m not going to share – it’s a great plan and here I am at Day 6 with all of the signs that this plan is very sound!! I can tell you that it involves more food, extremely specific training, and a whack of instinct about changes to be made along the way.
• My confidence in achieving my goal is at an all-time high. My energy in my workouts hasn’t been so evident for weeks.
• On a practical note, I’m throwing down the water yet my skin is as dry as a bone. Why? I’m dropping water as quick as I’m downing it – surely there is a lesson to be learned there? My skin is paper thin – no fat, no water trapped between skin and muscle. I’m leaning out even more yet I’m eating more – why? It’s a mixture of our secret plan and also the relaxed feeling I have. Means the hormones that inhibit fat loss are tucked away again. I’m really, really happy about that.

And lastly, I’m sleeping well. I haven’t slept well for the past month and this last week I’ve slept like a little baby.

 Speaking of – I’m heading there now and will check in again soon.