It's 5 weeks tomorrow since the World Champs. So much has happened since that wonderful week away in Coolangatta.

I got my new job in Darwin. I say "my" new job because it was my firm focus to secure that job. I could not visualise spending another 6 months away from my babies. God knows we could manage - we always do. But it wasn't part of the Master Plan and that is evident by the fact that I'm moving on New Years Day. Fresh year, fresh job, fresh focus. I'm so excited.

 

With the new job came a new house. We bought a very cute little house in Darwin and last night was my first night here while up for the weekend. To say I love it is an understatement. It just feels like home - even though we are so squished that the bedside tables are in the lounge and half of the furniture will remain outside until we find the means to renovate and expand. For now, it is what it is and we all love it. Especially the pool!

 

So the big question is - how is life Post Comp? By now everyone that has any interest in competitions whatsoever should know something about life after a comp. It can be hard. Actually, it can be more than hard. It can be crippling and I"ve seen some pretty devastated girls, along with experiencing some nasty little surprises for myself. I'll sum up my experiences in the most honest way I can;

 

Season 1, 2012.

Training: I prepped like a mad woman. I trained like a demon, ate like a bird and cardioed like the devil was after my arse!! I weighed a scary 52kg on comp day and, while I had a bit of muscle, probably the most impressive sight of all was that every muscle, tendon and bone was on show! I could have taken a second job as a human skeleton.

 

Post Comp: I ate and ate and ate and ate. And then I ate a little more. I ate like that for two solid days and then I stopped. And then I started again. It was uncontrollable. At times I felt actual fear that I wouldn't ever be able to feel normal about food again. It was a real fear triggered by the binging/starving cycle that I had started. The massive carb overloads that occurred when binging caused me to bloat. I had feet that looked like I suffered from gout, and a gut that put up with some terrible abuse.

 

This went on for a few weeks until I managed to pull myself into a new regime that consisted of ... you guessed it ... semi-starvation and lots of cardio. It was all I knew and it worked at keeping my weight low. It was a fairly sad way to live considering family occasions saw me eating from my own little food stash. Not only did I not allow myself treats, but I also wanted to be seen as someone who did not indulge in treats. I was definitely a slave to my own beliefs of how I should be portraying myself.

My intentions were pure. My relationship with my body was a mess.

Season 2, 2013

Training: I found Ingrid and life changed!! She taught me about health while prepping. She introduced me to ways of incorporating beautiful tastes and textures into my everyday food while training in a balanced and focused way. She was a godsend for me and I am so grateful that she allowed me to keep my love for training and gain back my self-confidence in my body.

Post Comp: I had a couple of days of indulgence, but nothing like I had the season before. I then went straight onto the same food that I prepped on and cycled myself out quite nicely. My weight went up slowly at first. But then I hit a sticking point - and it might shock you a bit. In retrospect, it shocks me a little too. I can identify two main factors as follows;

1. I believe I ate too clean. That's right. Too clean. I was dogged in my approach to clean foods. I spent weeks and weeks and weeks eating the same thing day in and day out - my work colleagues will testify to this because I lived with them 'out bush' for 6 months;

Breakfast - Protein, LSA, Orange, Psyllium Husk

M/Tea - Tuna & Salad

Lunch - Chicken & Vegetables

A/Tea - Protein Shake

Dinner - Chicken & Vegetables

Supper - Casein

Those that know me will agree that I can be focused to the point of stupidity. I felt an overwhelming need to 'stick to the program' at all times and I don't believe it did me any favours being so bloody strict. It led to an unease with social occasions, an inability to accept easily any change in routine, and an unhealthy tendency to over-indulge when I did stray from the program.

2. I did not track, weigh or even care how much of the 'good foods' I was eating. I ate as much carrot, cabbage, broccoli, beans, peas, salad etc etc as I wanted. I was so certain that none of these could make me put on weight. How dumb is that? Well I think it's pretty dumb for a smart woman in retrospect.

I also did not really take into account my protein (WPI) powder intake. It got bigger and bigger and it became my sweet 'crutch'. The only thing I ate that felt even remotely naughty. Protein might be lean, but it still contains energy (the nice word for calories). And I over-dosed on it at times.

Some 12 months later, I had successfully gained close to 20kg by eating mainly 'clean' and 'good' foods with the odd over-dose on carbs and sweets.

Oh yeah - my third mistake of the season was to refrain from any sort of tracking. Misleading myself into thinking that any weight is good weight when it comes to putting on muscle. I do not believe one word of that as I sit right now. I do not believe that walking around in a body that feels overweight, pudgy and uncomfortable is beneficial to me at all. Not fitting my 'normal size' clothes was a little bit devastating and not something I wish to revisit anytime soon.

Season 3:

Training: The same as Season 2. Training was hard, heavy and focused.

Post Comp: I spent the last 6 months researching nutrition and deciding on how I was going to tackle the end of this competition. I was determined not to make the same mistakes yet again ... because that would must be mental. I also felt that I needed to finally man-up and learn how to read my own body's messages and not rely on someone else to tell me what to eat and when - which I find much easier than trusting myself.

 

I settled on a mixture of implementing a program while keeping tabs on my progress. Sounds strikingly sensible really doesn't it? But for an over-analyser, the simplest things generally get put through the complicator and come out so laborious.

I decided on a method that gave me freedom to eat whatever I wanted, with guidelines on the amounts of carbs, proteins and fats. From comp day to the next, I immediately doubled my intake and added my favourite daily foods on that second day too - oats, yoghurt, blueberries, casein, wraps. It's not in me to neglect my vegies and salad foods so they figure in as normal, but I also include treat foods in moderation and very regularly.

I refuse to list and name those treats. I am personally sick to death of reading fitness 'gurus' harp on about what they do and don't eat. Who does that? And I'm not talking about the genuine nutrition based gurus that actually have some sort of teaching that goes with their food selfies. I'm talking about those that are having a great day and enjoying a cupcake so feel the need to plaster it all over social media in an effort to either; show that they are eating 'normally' and should be applauded for such (whatever), or feeling guilty and need the approval of a bunch of strangers that hit that 'like' button (whatever x 2). Just a little over it.

So food is great. I don't want to harp on about it. But I'm happy. My weight gain has been extremely slow, which I find quite amazing considering the variety of food and the huge increase in carbs. Means I can keep 'upping' my calories in order to eat as much a I can while maintaining a pleasing weight that suits my lifestyle, personal preference and, of course, my wardrobe!!

Training is something I've fallen in love with all over again. I've implemented a program I spent a few months writing and I love just about every minute of it in a sadistic sort of way. I am trialling heavy & volume days with specific body parts. Some sessions have only 4-6 reps, others have 4 sets of 15 reps. I'm seeing changes and I'm thriving on it. I have also cut back to 4 weights sessions and 2 x 25m cardio sessions per week. The cardio keeps me feeling healthy and, believe it or not, I just love it! I plan my little hiits and either do them on a few metres of tiles in my unit, or at the gym with the equipment. I even went to my first group fitness session in years - and got scared away by the shear number of dreaded burpees!! Haha. All in all, I'm in training heaven right now.

And of course I have new goals. I'm not sure how well I'd function without goals. I have goals in my work, travel goals, financial goals, children goals and training goals. Little things to aim for in all areas so I can measure how I'm going to get there and how well I'm doing along the way.

I'll save my goals for next time in case you're already asleep reading this.

Talking of sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz