Tracking Progress....Stress Alert!

Week 1 is completed. It went past in an absolute whirl. Sometimes being busy can be the best way to tackle change because it becomes robotic. This week has been exactly like that; work, train, food prep, family time, housework…repeat. I can only remember the important portions – walnuts, chicken cakes, salmon and chocolate casein crunchy delight.

I also have vivid memories of Monday night. The night I decided to weigh myself in the name of ‘Tracking Results’. It was comical. I had a shower to wash off all excessive and weighty dirt. I chose the lightest and smallest pieces of clothing (smalls!!) I could find. I finished my water consumption nice and early that day in lieu of the Big Event. I waited until my hair dried after the shower. It was obvious I was nervous because I kept babbling about nothing. I found any and every reason to deviate from the task. Then…with much fuss and stupidity, I decided it was time to step onto the digital life-changer … (you don’t have to tell me I’m dramatic! I know already).

Aha – I hatched a cunning plan just seconds from ‘the moment’! Genuis!!!!

 “Does it really matter what I weigh?” – No
“Are we only really interested in progress?” – Yes

So it was settled. I would stand on the scales while Rob used a cap to shield my fragile eyes from the glaring numbers. He would note down the ‘situation’ and write it somewhere far, far away, and in code least I start trying to find it on some sad and lonely night.

Another quick wee, a bit of incessant babbling and it was Time. With trepidation I stepped on board. “Damn” says Rob. “What??? What??? Am I too heavy to register??? WHAT???”. Error code – batteries dead. Haven’t touched the bloody thing since last May and it’s managed to flatten over 11 months. What’s more – it’s one of those round batteries …. the ones most of us don’t have lying around in our junk drawer!!Crap!!!

Rob to the rescue and he find one solitary little round silver battery. Inserted. We’re off on round two.

Few more stupid, nervous jokes (my way of dealing with excess stress – has definitely got me in trouble before), and I’m stepping on, Rob is shielding me from the shocking truth and we’ve finally completed the job. I’m proud to say I didn’t outright ask Rob what the numbers were. If I’m being truly honest, I asked a few strategic questions but he wasn’t playing the game. If you don't get it by now, I'm actually quite high maintenance. Thank goodness he enjoys the challenge. I still don’t know where he wrote it down and there’s a slight possibility that he will forget where himself. That would be a real disaster because I already feel a slight touch of nerves and excitement when anticipating progress update in one month.

Along with the scales, I took some photos. I’m quite a confident person but have to admit a real weakness when looking at my own photos. It’s something I’m working on because I feel sad when women can’t look at themselves and see their own beauty. So I’m forcing myself to look and accept where I’m at, and feel proud that I’m a very healthy, strong and focused woman. And that’s the absolute truth whether I’m at work, pre-comp, at the park, out for dinner or in the middle of my off-season, measuring progress. It’s still me. And these days I quite like me. Unlike many, I wouldn’t swap and go back in time for all of the tea in China (my mum uses this phrase and it’s a little absurd because I think there’s way more tea in India).

I’m not sure I’m ready to share my pics quite yet. Hang on.... have had a quick look through and yep - not ready! But I’ll definitely work on that.