·
I walk into my home garage gym and feel immensely
grateful that I can do this workout with only shorts, sports bra and bare-feet.
I have no energy to put shoes on.
·
Exercise #1 is lying hamstring curls. My
gratefulness is gone in a flickety flash. And now I’m searingly pissed off that
the preacher curl attachment is where the hamstring curl attachment should
be!!! WTF??!!! How could I have been so
stupid as to leave it like that last time?? Oh yeah – that’s right – I couldn’t
be bothered changing it back and had no forethought of my next hamstring
session. Typical. I want someone else to blame but can't find anyone within glaring distance.
I
have to pull a lever out while lifting up the preacher curl attachment. It’s a
near-on impossible task. I simply cannot pull that friggin lever and lift the
dumb attachment at the same time!! IT WON’T WORK!!!!!!!!!!! I want to scream!!
I need to do hamstring curls. Nothing else will do. NOTHING. It's hamstring curls or I'll go inside and do nothing!
My mood has turned foul and I begin yanking
at the stupid lever with the miniscule strength I have left. I end up sitting
on the ground and bugger me if I don’t feel some little tears sting the corners
of my eyes!! Ridiculous!!Having a sook over a stupid lever. All of a sudden the stars align over Jupiter and the
lever gives way while the attachment flies off!!
Next
job – I need to reattach the hamstring curl attachment. Does this nightmare
ever end?? That involves fitting one piece to the other with a bolt. Lining the
holes up is an almost-impossible job and it takes every piece of focus I have
to get them square. I fumble with the bolt and, for some reason, ‘lefty loosey,
righty tighty’ just makes no freakin sense and I’m turning it all wrong and I’m
getting mighty pissed off about it. I want to use a bloody great hammer and
just smash the dumb thing in – and would have done so if the tool box wasn’t an
eternity away in the garage.
I
finally conquer the worlds’ most stupid piece of gym equipment ever and now it’s
time to get started. I feel like I’ve already done a workout and can’t believe
that I haven’t yet completed even one set. The whole workout is looming like Mt
Everest and feels too big to conquer.
I
contemplate my usual hamstring-curl weight and decide to halve it. Partly because
I know that I have very little strength …partly because I can’t be bothered
collecting anymore weight plates. Holy hell – has life come to this? Today it
has.
Believe
it or not, I make my way through all 8 sets and go on to complete everything
else on The List. None of it done with style and grace. More with glares and stares.
And
here’s the truth; On completion I don’t feel ‘Pumped’. I don’t feel revved up. I don’t even
feel energised! I only feel a mere smidgin of satisfaction that I’ve been able
to tick off the necessary activity for the day. I had no reason not to do it
and it wasn’t appropriate to use it as a Rest Day. So it was a necessary
activity.
I
finished with a somewhat half-hearted rendition of my routine. Rob made the
mistake of offering a small piece of constructive criticism. I jumped down his
throat like a lion on a zebra! I ripped his head off and let the blood run dry.
I had a small conscience-stab that I was just perhaps over-reacting slightly to
his comment … just maybe … (bloody
absolutely was!!!) but had no energy to concede this fact. Instead I
stormed off like a madam and had to save my “sorry” for later – when I had some
food energy to make it sound genuine!! Which I did - well I think I did - don't quote me on that.
So
that, my friends, is the reality of what my workouts can be like just prior to
competition day. Glamorous hey??!!! Haha – NOT. Thank god every day is not like
this.
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